Picture yourself kneeling on the deathbed of one of the richest people in the world. You hope you’ll hear the wisdom to help you achieve a portion of his wealth, fame, and success.
When Sam Walton, founder of Walmart and Sam’s Clubs and the richest person in the U.S. between 1982 and 1988, lay dying, he confessed these three words: “I blew it!”
So says Kerry L. Johnson, author of Mastering the Game: The Human Edge in Sales and Marketing.
“Mr. Walton said he blew it with his family,” says Dr. Johnson. “Mr. Walton barely knew his youngest son, he even neglected his grandchildren and his wife stayed with him out of commitment. No one in the last stages of his life has ever looked back to take stock and regretted not making more money. It’s always the relationships that they missed.”
It it’s true that in their final years, no one ever wishes they had spent more time at the office; why do so many people seem to spend more time at work than is needed?
Perhaps it’s because work can be quantified in ways other parts of life can’t. And the feedback can be immediate and direct.
A former employer of mine had a simple method of separating “good” from “bad” employees. The good, or promotable, employees “hit their numbers,” while those who didn’t make quota couldn’t be expected to move forward in their careers. This made the process of evaluating employees very straightforward.
While this system may seem effective because it separates superstars from deadbeats, its rigid objectivity was at times ludicrous and troublesome. For instance, one well-qualified worker was passed over for a new assignment simply because she missed a somewhat arbitrary goal by a few percentage points.
At home, on the other hand, a spouse or significant other would rarely impose such stringent evaluation criteria. Neither would their children.
So, when deciding between accompanying a spouse to watch a child in a school play or staying late to complete a report which could determine whether you would be granted a raise or promotion, which would you choose?
I had planned to visit Mike and Patti, two former college classmates who had married and lived in a distant city. I called to arrange a visit when my company scheduled a sales meeting in their city. We were to meet after the session, but during the meeting, all attendees received an assignment due the next day. So I began to re-think my plans.
In addition, I was nervous about seeing my former classmates after 15 years. “What if they looked old, or worse, what if I looked old to them?” I wondered. But rather than cancel meeting them at dinner (normally what I would have done when I received a job-related task), I worked on my assignment before and after it.
I am glad that I did! We had a wonderful time.
During the meal, both Mike and Patti remarked that I hadn’t changed a bit. (And neither had they.)
The next day, another employee (who had more time to prepare) gave a better presentation than I did. He had used the evening to memorize his entire script. But I knew my decision to see my former classmates were right.
Shortly after that, Patti was diagnosed with cancer and has since died. I never saw her again.
Several years later, I commuted to a new job in a different state and, for eight months, only saw my family on weekends. As a result, I developed a new appreciation and respect for them that has continued to this day.
I discovered, as Jim McCann, former CEO of 1-800-Flowers.com, says in his book Stop and Sell the Roses: Lesson from Business and Life: “In this deal-based, free-agent world, only family is forever.”
Whether we are the richest person in the country or not, each of us has the same quantity of the most precious commodity in the world – time. Using it fruitfully is a tremendous responsibility. But, unfortunately, only considering easily quantifiable actions isn’t the solution.
As I tell the attendees of my time management class, “The essence of today’s presentation can be boiled down to this one question, ‘What is the best use of my time right now?’ When you answer the question, do that one thing. Avoid doing anything else.”
And keep asking yourself that question if you want to avoid the deathbed reckoning of Sam Walton.
